Monday, March 29, 2010

St. Louis Tea Party Can't Understand Why Anyone Was Offended by Bloody Congressman Corpse

A new controversy erupted locally as St. Louis Tea Party members accused the local media, SEIU, and Democratic politicians of "making a mountain out of a molehill" after members of the public criticized the Tea Party's decision to simulate beatings, torture, murder, and unspeakable sexual acts on a bloody corpse mannequin with the words "Democrat politician" written on it. The Tea Party leadership brought the mannequin to a rally protesting the idea that taxes would increase for the wealthiest 1% of wage earners in order to ensure that all Americans had access to health care.

"This whole thing is an outrage, and is directly attributable to Charlie Dooley, Russ Carnahan, President Obama, and," said conservative blogger Jim Hoft, who brought the bloody corpse mannequin. "We used the mannequin for fun carnival games, like Burn the Communist Alive and Drive a Stake Through the Evil Vampire's Shriveled Heart. Heck, we even had our children playing the game."

Some critics suggested that the actions might be going a little far. "It seems to me like when you practice gouging the eyes out of a stuffed corpse while chanting 'let's all murder the bloody tyrants who are planning to steal our money,' you might be encouraging other people to commit actual violence," one astonished onlooker said. But the Tea Party was quick to dismiss such charges.

"This is nothing more than the liberal establishment trying to silence all dissent," said Tea Party co-founder Bill Hennessy. "The idea that Stab the Hippie is a violent game is completely disproved by the fact that we said a prayer at the beginning of the rally for all of the unborn fetuses that Obama has murdered in cold blood."

97.1 radio host Dana Loesch devoted her entire show to the topic, saying that the incident was direct proof that Democrats hate free speech. She pointed out that some Democrats had claimed that the Tea Party hung the bloody corpse mannequin from a street light poll. However, after analyzing video and photographs from twelve different angles, Loesch said that it was clear that the corpse was actually hung from a traffic light, which proves that all liberals are liars. Loesch also claimed that the incident proved that liberals were racist and sexist, but she didn't bother to explain why.

Make sure to tune in tonight for a special Fox 2 News segment titled: "Murdering Politicians: Irresponsible Stunt or Good-Natured Fun?" to hear more about this incident.

(note: the above is satire, but IMHO not very far from the truth)

1 comment:

  1. Not far? Very close.

    By the way, did you catch Tea Party community organizer Loesch on Larry King? She would get rid of Social Security if given the chance. That'll help Ed Martin! I may have to e-mail Ed to see if he supports this position.