101 reasons to become a St. Louis conservative

  I was listening to conservative radio a few days ago when I realized that I don't love America enough. It's obvious that in order to be a real American there are certain things that everybody must fear, although hate will suffice in most cases. I've taken a little time to list a few of the things that St. Louis progressives need to re-consider, as a public service. Check yourself and learn a little about patriotism.

Please note- If you don't fear or hate at least 85 items on the following list you may actually be French.


101. Social Security
100. Local control
 99. ACORN
 98.  The Riverfront Times
 97. Toyota Prius
 96. Lady Gaga
 95. France
 94. Gay adoption
 93. Voter fraud
 92. Elston McCowan
 91. O.F.A.
 90. Chicago style politics
 89. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
 88. Activist judges
 87. Don Giljum
 86. Dream Act
 85. The re-distribution of wealth
 84. Jesse Jackson
 83. Department of Education
 82. Health care rationing
 81. Repealing D.A.D.T.
 80. Organizing for America
 79. Barney Frank
 78. W.I.C.
 77. Fired Up Missouri
 76. Socialism
 75. S.E.I.U.
 74. Kenyans
 73. Bill Ayers
 72. Hollywood liberals
 71. Illegal immigrants
 70. Gun control
 69. Any sex position other than missionary
 68. Eric Boehlert
 67. Medicare
 66. Gotcha' journalism
 65. The Fairness Doctrine
 64. George Soros
 63. The war on Christmas
 62. M.I.A.C. reports
 61. Congressman Carnahan preventing you from worshiping God
 60. Media Matters for America
 59. Michael Moore
 58. Bill Maher
 57. Gay marriage
 56. The liberal media
 55. The E.P.A.
 54. Islam
 55. Andy Stern
 54. The Department of Energy
 53. President Obama
 52. O.P.E.C.
 51. Big Government
 50. The Nanny State
 49. Taxes
 48. Occupy Wall Street
 47. Keith Olberman
 46. Perry Molens
 45. The C.W.A.
 44. Cash for Clunkers
 43. Freddie Mac
 42. The Dream Act
 41.  Repealing D.O.M.A.
 40. Transgender people
 39. The NAACP
 38. Green energy
 37. Wind Capitol Group
 36. Rachel Maddow
 35. The gay agenda
 34. Death panels
 33. Adam Shriver
 32. Show Me Progress
 31. Charles Jaco
 30. Medicaid
 29. Raising the debt ceiling
 28. The global warming conspiracy
 27. The C.W.A.
 26. Gun control
 25. Communism
 24. Elizabeth Warren
 23. Green energy
 22. E.N.D.A.
 21. Black Panthers
 20. Abortion
 19. Muslim Brotherhood
 18. Fannie Mae
 17. Stop-light cameras
 16. Nancy Pelosi
 15. Palestinian statehood
 14. Medical marijuana
 13. The Fast and Furious conspiracy
 12. ForwardStl
 11. MSNBC
 10. Junk science
   9. Food stamps
   8. Political correctness
   7. China
   6. Anything L.G.B.T.
   5. Obama's Judicial nominations
   4. East coast elitists
   3. Sharia law
   2. Fascism
   1. Limp-wristed and cowardly Democrats



H/T to Russ Weiss for counting his numerous fears